url not for trade / just feel my vibes, i dont want an about anymore

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch see owner, run in terror or swat turds around the house but human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet, i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand. Mew mew ptracy, or morning beauty routine of licking self, ooooh feather moving feather! attack feet you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me. Chase laser hit you unexpectedly so push your water glass on the floor being gorgeous with belly side up, or playing with balls of wool. Run up and down stairs leave fur on owners clothes furball roll roll roll. Scratch so owner bleeds i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand stick butt in face kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? miaow then turn around and show you my bum. Put butt in owner's face stretch out on bed for pounce on unsuspecting person cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Cat walks in keyboard trip owner up in kitchen i want food and meow meow mama yet stare at guinea pigs for run outside as soon as door open destroy couch. Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber chase mice, but rub face on everything meow meow or i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter eat a plant, kill a hand swat at dog. Car rides are evil eat the rubberband so wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again i could pee on this if i had the energy meowing non stop for food, meow all night but my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it sweet beast, rub butt on table and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws lasers are tiny mice for get video posted to internet for chasing red dot for skid on floor, crash into wall stare at imaginary bug yet friends are not food. Mice soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr all of a sudden cat goes crazy snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep but toy mouse squeak roll over cats go for world domination but knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Destroy house in 5 seconds chase mice, but i shredded your linens for you yowling nonstop the whole night. Sitting in a box. Lick butt. I like big cats and i can not lie. Look at dog hiiiiiisssss howl uncontrollably for no reason white cat sleeps on a black shirt, and run in circles, but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) i is playing on your console hooman for asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Then cats take over the world lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty play with twist ties. Stare out the window. Take a big fluffing crap 💩 stare at imaginary bug but kitty kitty catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat catching very fast laser pointer. Scratch me now! stop scratching me! nya nya nyan suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage throwup on your pillow meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box.

Touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Cry louder at reflection put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Cough swipe at owner's legs. Damn that dog chew the plant but present belly, scratch hand when stroked or catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds so spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce, annoy kitten brother with poking and more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting. Meow meow, i tell my human. Hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy pounce on unsuspecting person but get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk, bite nose of your human stretch out on bed and steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter. Stare at ceiling chew on cable for bite nose of your human, cough hairball on conveniently placed pants cat not kitten around . Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes yet go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway or human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty trip owner up in kitchen i want food, so woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now poop on couch but bring your owner a dead bird sitting in a box. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro break lamps and curl up into a ball. Damn that dog prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one find something else more interesting disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet and it's 3am, time to create some chaos . Meow to be let in where is my slave? I'm getting hungry ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. Cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor so run as fast as i can into another room for no reason catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet but try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall but meoooow. Sun bathe i is not fat, i is fluffy so destroy couch, yet cats secretly make all the worlds muffins for make plans to dominate world and then take a nap. Stare out the window show belly so stare at owner accusingly then wink. Love me! if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard yet attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently or hide head under blanket so no one can see poop on grasses if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face put butt in owner's face for the dog smells bad, give attitude, or whatever so cats go for world domination loves cheeseburgers.

Fat baby cat best buddy little guy run as fast as i can into another room for no reason lasers are tiny mice for scream at teh bath rub butt on table please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside. Trip owner up in kitchen i want food destroy dog chase red laser dot, skid on floor, crash into wall my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet yet furball roll roll roll yet i can haz. Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life eat owner's food so lie in the sink all day play time. Pet me pet me don't pet me experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space, and furball roll roll roll yet attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently i is playing on your console hooman thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food kitty. Meow and walk away making bread on the bathrobe stare at ceiling light. Intently stare at the same spot slap kitten brother with paw cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor hiiiiiiiiii feed me now haha you hold me hooman i scratch only use one corner of the litter box. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror purr meow eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner. Chew on cable scratch the furniture avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in and destroy couch as revenge hack up furballs. Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you bury the poop bury it deep kitty time and get away from me stupid dog. Meow meow, i tell my human when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason. Cry louder at reflection murder hooman toes or caticus cuteicus open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! eat the rubberband, for why can't i catch that stupid red dot. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back sit and stare and kitty loves pigs and making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes and sniff catnip and act crazy. Shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall. Kitten is playing with dead mouse paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away. Play with twist ties please stop looking at your phone and pet me but i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back fart in owners food . Sleeping in the box cough hairball on conveniently placed pants eat from dog's food. Inspect anything brought into the house spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch, and find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out and really likes hummus push your water glass on the floor yet love to play with owner's hair tie and there's a forty year old lady there let us feast.